Eye Square Martial Arts

Cultural Preservation… with Bruises (sometimes).

Tag: Martial Arts Mindset

  • Pain in Training: Learning Through Discomfort

    Pain in Training: Learning Through Discomfort

    Some lessons only sink in when they hurt a little.

    After a solid Sunday class, I was chatting with Nate while folks were comparing bruises and swelling. It brought back a memory of when I accidentally smacked my first instructor’s thumb during a stick drill. He didn’t take it well and kind of tapped out of training that day. Contrast that with my first live stick sparring round with Nate—he hit me harder, and I knew it was coming.

    And that’s the point.

    I’m not putting down my first instructor—he gave me exactly what I needed at that stage of my life. But over time, I’ve come to appreciate how critical it is to accept pain and discomfort as part of real growth. Whether it’s taking a hit during a sparring match or getting under a barbell and pushing yourself past what you thought possible, discomfort teaches you something that comfort never will.

    Every time I get the chance to train with Nate, I walk away having learned something new—even if it’s just a realization of how far I’ve come since I started Filipino Martial Arts.

    A lot of that learning comes after pain.

    It’s not always severe or brutal. Sometimes it’s just enough to sting, to leave a mark. But that sting creates awareness. That ache sharpens focus. That bruise becomes a milestone.

    I remember an article by Lee Wedlake, a respected American Kenpo master, who reflected on how discomfort in training has become frowned upon. And to some degree, I get it—training needs to be accessible. But there’s a deeper question there: Who makes up your market? Are you building warriors, or simply selling memberships?

    The tendon in my left index finger has been swollen for months. It doesn’t look great—but I’m proud of it. It’s a badge of effort. A reminder of the work I’ve put in. Sometimes I show it off when students compare injuries. Not because I enjoy the damage, but because I know what it took to earn it—and what I’m still willing to endure.

    I’m lucky to have found training partners, teachers, and a path where pain isn’t the enemy—it’s just part of the conversation.

    And I hope others are lucky enough to discover the same.

  • Self-Defense: What’s the Prosecution’s Objective?

    Self-Defense: What’s the Prosecution’s Objective?

    Self-Defense: What’s the Prosecution’s Objective?

    Not legal advice. I’m not a lawyer or legal expert. Please consult a qualified attorney in your area for actual legal guidance. And if you haven’t yet, read Andrew Branca’s Law of Self Defense—you can even get a free copy.

    In the previous post, we covered the Five Elements of a Self-Defense Claim and how doctrines like Castle Doctrine and Stand Your Ground don’t give you a blank check (in spite of what news anchors will tell you)—they simply remove the duty to retreat, under specific conditions.

    To review, the Five Elements are:

    • Innocence
    • Imminence
    • Avoidance
    • Proportionality
    • Reasonableness

    To successfully claim self-defense, you must show—at a minimum—that each of these five elements was present during the use-of-force event. The standard isn’t beyond a reasonable doubt—it’s preponderance of the evidence (more likely than not). Fail to meet that threshold and the judge may not even allow a self-defense argument to be presented at trial.

    Once the defense is allowed to proceed, the prosecution’s job is simple:

    Disprove just one of the five elements.

    That’s it. And they’ll use every tool available to do so.

    INNOCENCE

    The prosecution may argue that you were not the innocent party—perhaps because:

    • You were armed and trained, and that “means you were looking for trouble”
    • You acted with preparation or intent, rather than in response to a real threat

    Example:
    In the Kyle Rittenhouse case, the prosecution tried to claim that merely carrying an AR-15 was provocative—essentially blaming him for making rioters feel unsafe. Fortunately, the jury didn’t buy it.

    IMMINENCE

    Prosecutors may question whether the threat was truly immediate:

    • “How did you know he was going to attack right then?”
    • “Why didn’t you wait to see if he’d actually act on his words?”

    They’ll argue that you jumped the gun. Whether someone was squared up, blocking your exit, or verbalizing threats, you’ll need to articulate those facts clearly and credibly.

    AVOIDANCE

    Avoidance is one of the most misunderstood elements.

    If you’re in a duty-to-retreat jurisdiction, the law expects you to take any available, safe way out—but only if doing so won’t expose you to grave harm.

    Examples:

    • The prosecution may claim you chose to be in a bad place—e.g., Kyle Rittenhouse “wasn’t from Kenosha.”
    • In a recent NY subway case, a homeless man defended himself against multiple attackers. Prosecutors argued he should’ve simply let himself be robbed.

    This kind of reasoning punishes people for not being victims.

    PROPORTIONALITY

    This is where prosecutors will twist the facts.

    • “He just tried to punch you.” (But he’s twice your size.)
    • “He only had a knife.” (As if a knife isn’t extremely deadly.)
    • “You used pepper spray on a guy yelling at you.” (But he was clearly escalating.)

    They’ll ignore things like:

    • Age or health disparities
    • Multiple attackers
    • Your medical vulnerabilities (e.g., on blood thinners)

    Example:
    In the Rittenhouse case, one attacker had “only a skateboard.” Yeah—reinforced hardwood with metal trucks, being swung at his head. That’s a deadly weapon.

    REASONABLENESS

    This element blends objective standards (what the average person would do) with subjective context (what you knew).

    Defense attorneys may present:

    • Your attacker’s reputation for violence
    • Your physical limitations or health status
    • Your training and experience

    Prosecutors will try to keep this evidence out. That’s why it’s important to document your training:

    • Certificates
    • Class notes
    • Dated materials you’ve sent to yourself

    All of it helps prove what you knew at the time.

    Wrapping Up

    Yeah, I’ve been a little hard on prosecutors here. That’s not accidental.

    Many prosecutors—especially those in high-profile or politically sensitive cases—will do whatever they can to score a win, regardless of the truth. And the system is structured in a way that can feel stacked against someone who acted in good faith.

    You need to understand:
    Police and prosecutors are not your friends.
    That’s where we’re headed next.

  • “Self-Defense” What’s Needed for a Proper Claim?

    “Self-Defense” What’s Needed for a Proper Claim?

    I’m not a lawyer—but I have read Andrew Branca’s book (you can get a free copy by following the link) and several others. I’m not an expert either, but this series is meant to help you start understanding legal concepts and realities so you can seek out deeper knowledge for yourself.

    Ultimately this is not legal advice, you should seek out a qualified attorney in your area and see guidance from them!

    Despite what you might see online, claiming “self-defense” isn’t as simple as saying “I feared for my life!” on the stand. In reality, it’s a minefield of legal nuance—and one misstep can change everything.

    Misconceptions and My Early Mistake

    When I first started looking into self-defense law, I ran into acronyms like IMOP:

    • Intent
    • Means
    • Opportunity
    • Preclusion

    I assumed that if I could check those boxes, I was covered. But that turned out to be an oversimplification. A kind comment (I think from Andrew Branca himself) on an old blog post of mine pointed out how tricky a self-defense claim can be in real life. That moment pushed me to dive deeper.

    The truth is, the legal system doesn’t start from a place of perfect knowledge. The responding officer almost always misunderstands what actually happened. Screaming “It was self-defense!” doesn’t help—especially when what really happened was someone’s ego (their “Monkey”) escalating things into a preventable fight.

    And let’s be honest: a career criminal might be better at looking innocent than you are at being innocent.

    Branca’s Five Elements of Self-Defense

    To navigate this legal minefield, Andrew Branca presents Five Elements of Self-Defense. These are legal standards—not gut feelings—and learning them helps you understand when and how self-defense can be properly claimed:

    1. Innocence
    2. Imminence
    3. Avoidance
    4. Proportionality
    5. Reasonableness

    Each of these words has a specific legal definition that doesn’t always match the casual way we use them in conversation. Let’s walk through each one.

    1. Innocence

    Were you the one who started the fight? Were you where you had a legal right to be?

    If you’re engaging in threatening behavior—like squaring up aggressively, posturing, or hurling insults—you may lose your claim to innocence. There’s a legal concept called “Fighting Words”: if you provoke someone and they respond violently, the law may say you’re the aggressor.

    2. Imminence

    Imminence is about timing.

    Was the threat right there, right then? Did they have the means and opportunity to carry out the threat immediately? Or was it more like “I’ll come back later!”

    Example:
    At a lacrosse game, an opposing player slashed a teammate of my brother. The player’s mom got angry and yelled at the coach, eventually threatening:
    “Do you want me to get a baseball bat and beat the crap out of you?!”

    Police were called. The officer asked if she had a bat. She didn’t. She’d have to go get one, come back, and then follow through. Since there was no imminent threat, no charges were filed.

    3. Avoidance

    Did you have a safe way to leave?

    In many places, there’s a duty to retreat before using force, especially deadly force. The exceptions to this rule are legal doctrines like:

    • Castle Doctrine (no duty to retreat in your own home)
    • Stand Your Ground (no duty to retreat in public, under specific conditions)

    Important note: these doctrines only relieve you of the duty to retreat—they don’t override the other four elements.

    In some states, you may even have access to a Stand Your Ground hearing—a pre-trial hearing where a judge decides if the evidence supports your self-defense claim enough to block criminal charges or civil lawsuits.

    4. Proportionality

    Your response must match the level of threat.

    If someone shoves you, that doesn’t give you the right to shoot them. But if someone comes at you with a knife, deadly force may be justified.

    Context matters:

    • A 5’3”, 105 lb woman being attacked by a 6’5”, 300 lb man may reasonably fear for her life even without a weapon being involved.
    • The same goes for multiple attackers—even if none of them are armed.

    This is called disparity of force, and it’s a key part of understanding proportionality.

    5. Reasonableness

    Would a “reasonable person” act the same way in your shoes?

    That’s the million-dollar question, and it’s what jurors are asked to consider. Of course, jurors don’t know everything you did at the time. That’s why the defense must present:

    • Prior history with the attacker
    • Their reputation
    • Any weapons present
    • Training, physical limitations, or awareness on your part
    • Distance and threat potential (e.g., knife at 10 feet)

    The court weighs both subjective knowledge (what you knew) and objective standards (how a reasonable person would respond). Just saying “I was afraid” doesn’t cut it. You need to be able to explain why your fear was reasonable.

    Wrapping Up

    This was a denser post than usual—and with good reason. Self-defense law is full of complexity and myth. What we’ve covered here is from the defense’s perspective—what you need to justify your actions.

    But self-defense claims don’t exist in a vacuum.

    In the next post, we’ll talk about the prosecution—how they think, what they look for, and how they’ll try to dismantle your self-defense claim.

  • There’s No Magic Bullet in Training

    There’s No Magic Bullet in Training

    Prepared, Not Violent is an ongoing series from Eye Square Martial Arts exploring how martial artists can understand, avoid, and prepare for real-world violence—without becoming consumed by it.

    This is Part VI: There’s No Magic Bullet in Training

    In an ideal world, learning how to protect yourself wouldn’t hurt. But we don’t live in that world.

    Online, you’ll find plenty of flashy videos showing “no-touch knockouts” or pressure-point wizardry that claims to incapacitate someone with a finger flick. It would be nice if that were real. But it’s not.

    Violence is dangerous.
    Violence hurts.
    And I’m not talking about feelings.

    “Anyone who says words cut like a knife has clearly never been stabbed.”
    — Rory Miller

    Martial arts make a powerful promise: that someone smaller or weaker can survive, or even win, against someone bigger and stronger. And it is true—but only if the training is real.

    The real advantages come from:

    • Recognizing attacks early
    • Understanding timing and rhythm
    • Knowing where the human body is vulnerable

    Those advantages don’t come from mystical techniques or secret shortcuts. They come from work. Real, sweaty, sometimes painful work. That might mean getting hit, pushed, or taken to the ground. It means drilling the uncomfortable stuff until your body doesn’t freeze under pressure.

    Even with tools like firearms—often seen as the great equalizer—the reality is more complicated. Drawing and firing under pressure is a skill, not a guarantee. It takes time to develop. And it brings new challenges: what if someone grabs for your weapon? What if you fumble the draw? Are you prepared to retain control in a struggle?

    The truth is: there is no magic bullet. Not in martial arts. Not in self-defense. Not in life.

    Preparation is uncomfortable. But that discomfort is the price you pay for readiness.

  • Being Content With Your Choices and Following Through

    Being Content With Your Choices and Following Through

    This post is a little different from the usual.

    I woke up this morning thinking about what I could do to keep moving this school forward. Almost immediately, a voice in the back of my head chimed in: “Just stay in bed. Take it easy.”

    But I got up anyway and went through my morning routine. On the way to the dog park to let my pups burn off some energy, I was reminded of a thought shared by both Marcus Aurelius and Steven Pressfield: you have to find contentment in the path you’ve chosen.

    So I asked myself: What do I really want?
    Not what brings money—what brings purpose?

    I want to teach martial arts.

    And the thing is… I am teaching martial arts. And I’m happy doing it.

    I have to remind myself that happiness doesn’t come from the bank account—it comes from doing what matters. I’m learning, creating, and sharing that journey with others. That’s meaningful.

    Sure, it’d be nice if I didn’t have to do all the “manual labor” of building this business both online and in person. But if I don’t put in that effort, why should the universe offer anything back?

    Opportunity doesn’t come knocking.
    But if you walk out the door and meet it halfway—it often shows up.

    “If you wait for opportunity to knock, it never will. But if you move to meet opportunity in the street, it’ll meet you halfway.”
    —Unknown

  • Controlling Your Center

    Controlling Your Center

    Prepared, Not Violent is an ongoing series from Eye Square Martial Arts exploring how martial artists can understand, avoid, and prepare for real-world violence—without becoming consumed by it.

    This is Part III: Controlling Your Center

    There are certain subjects that tend to get under my skin. Maybe you’ve got a few of your own. I’ve let myself get riled up before—enough that it’s cost me friendships.

    One example still stings. A former friend’s girlfriend clearly knew how to press my buttons. She poked at a topic she knew would get a rise out of me. I reacted. She cried to him. He ghosted me for a week, and then told me we couldn’t be friends anymore.

    But personal drama aside—there’s a deeper lesson here.

    When you allow someone else to trigger your emotions, you’re essentially handing over control. You’re letting them steer the ship.

    And that’s never good. At least, not for you.

    You Teach People How to Treat You

    Every time you react in a certain way, you reinforce the rulebook others use when dealing with you.

    If you explode when challenged, people learn to provoke you when they want to win.
    If you withdraw when criticized, people learn to guilt you into silence.
    If you overextend when praised, people learn to flatter you into compliance.

    Most people aren’t evil. But most people are human—and they’ll push for what they want, even when it’s not in your best interest.

    “If You’re Feeling, You’re Not Thinking”

    Here’s a hard truth: when your emotions take over, your reasoning shuts down. The limbic system—your “monkey brain”—hijacks your frontal cortex. That’s the part responsible for logic and decision-making.

    Worse, it doesn’t just override logic—it recruits it. Once your emotions are in the driver’s seat, your brain gets to work justifying your feelings rather than evaluating the situation objectively.

    Identity Is the Emotional Trap

    This is why topics like politics, religion, and even martial arts can cause otherwise calm people to lose their minds. These things get tied to your identity. And once something becomes part of who you are, any challenge to it feels personal.

    Disagree with my stance? You’re attacking me.
    Criticize my art? You’re disrespecting my identity.

    It doesn’t even have to be serious. Some people will go to war over what car you drive, what coffee you drink, or whether you put pineapple on pizza.

    And here’s the kicker: when researchers put people into MRI machines and asked them political or religious questions, the logical parts of the brain didn’t light up. The emotional centers did.

    We think we’re being rational, but we’re not.

    Keep Your Center

    In martial arts, the “center” is your balance point. Lose it, and you’re vulnerable. The same is true emotionally.

    If you want to be prepared—not just for violence, but for life—you have to own your center. That means not letting others manipulate your emotional state. It means noticing when your buttons are being pushed, and choosing not to react blindly.

    It’s hard. But it’s worth it.

    Control yourself—so no one else can.

  • Where Violence Happens

    Where Violence Happens

    Prepared, Not Violent is an ongoing series from Eye Square Martial Arts exploring how martial artists can understand, avoid, and prepare for real-world violence—without becoming consumed by it.

    This is Part II: Where Violence Happens

    I used to think violence just… happened. Random. Unpredictable. But as I’ve grown in my understanding of human behavior—and thanks to some great sources like Rory Miller—I’ve realized there’s often a pattern.

    Some of what Miller lays out is so head-slappingly obvious in hindsight, I’ve literally muttered to myself, “Well duh, Brandon.”

    “Best defense: not be there.”
    — Mr. Miyagi

    Here’s a concept worth drilling into:
    There are five common environments where violence tends to occur. Understanding these can help you avoid trouble before it starts.

    1. Places Where Minds Are Altered

    Alcohol, drugs, and adrenaline all change how people behave—and not for the better. Bars, clubs, house parties… all ripe for interpersonal conflict. A high percentage of violent incidents involve intoxication. Impaired judgment makes stupid decisions easier.

    2. Places Where Young Men Gather

    Statistically, most violent crime is committed by men under 24. Testosterone, ego, peer pressure—it’s a cocktail that doesn’t need much to go sideways. A big group of young guys with something to prove is a red flag.

    3. Territories in Dispute

    This can be literal—gang boundaries, disputed land—or symbolic, like sports rivalries. “My team’s better than yours!” often escalates into “Hold my beer.” The tribal instinct runs deep, and perceived threats to identity or territory can trigger violence fast.

    4. Places Where You Don’t Know the Rules

    Every subculture has unspoken rules. Walk into a biker bar acting like a frat king? Bad move. The social dynamics might be invisible to you, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist—or that you won’t pay the price for breaking them.

    5. Places Without Witnesses

    Nature might be beautiful, but it’s also brutal. A lot of assaults happen on isolated trails, in remote parks, or just off busy streets—alleys, parking structures, stairwells. Predators prefer places where no one’s watching. So should you—just in the opposite way.

    You can stack these danger zones, too.

    Take a college football game where a rival team is in town. You’ve got:

    • A huge crowd of young men,
    • Drinking like fish (minds altered),
    • Defending their team’s honor (territory),
    • Visiting unfamiliar bars (rule confusion),
    • And dark parking lots nearby (no witnesses).

    Congratulations. That’s a violence cocktail with a twist of regret.

    When you’re trying to keep yourself and your people safe, where you are matters just as much as who you are.

    Yeah, it sounds obvious. But Western society likes to sell us the idea that we should feel safe anywhere, all the time.

    And sure, that’s a nice thought. But reality?

    Reality is waiting to high-five your face… with a 2×4.