Eye Square Martial Arts

Cultural Preservation… with Bruises (sometimes).

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  • “Self-Defense” What’s Needed for a Proper Claim?

    “Self-Defense” What’s Needed for a Proper Claim?

    I’m not a lawyer—but I have read Andrew Branca’s book (you can get a free copy by following the link) and several others. I’m not an expert either, but this series is meant to help you start understanding legal concepts and realities so you can seek out deeper knowledge for yourself.

    Ultimately this is not legal advice, you should seek out a qualified attorney in your area and see guidance from them!

    Despite what you might see online, claiming “self-defense” isn’t as simple as saying “I feared for my life!” on the stand. In reality, it’s a minefield of legal nuance—and one misstep can change everything.

    Misconceptions and My Early Mistake

    When I first started looking into self-defense law, I ran into acronyms like IMOP:

    • Intent
    • Means
    • Opportunity
    • Preclusion

    I assumed that if I could check those boxes, I was covered. But that turned out to be an oversimplification. A kind comment (I think from Andrew Branca himself) on an old blog post of mine pointed out how tricky a self-defense claim can be in real life. That moment pushed me to dive deeper.

    The truth is, the legal system doesn’t start from a place of perfect knowledge. The responding officer almost always misunderstands what actually happened. Screaming “It was self-defense!” doesn’t help—especially when what really happened was someone’s ego (their “Monkey”) escalating things into a preventable fight.

    And let’s be honest: a career criminal might be better at looking innocent than you are at being innocent.

    Branca’s Five Elements of Self-Defense

    To navigate this legal minefield, Andrew Branca presents Five Elements of Self-Defense. These are legal standards—not gut feelings—and learning them helps you understand when and how self-defense can be properly claimed:

    1. Innocence
    2. Imminence
    3. Avoidance
    4. Proportionality
    5. Reasonableness

    Each of these words has a specific legal definition that doesn’t always match the casual way we use them in conversation. Let’s walk through each one.

    1. Innocence

    Were you the one who started the fight? Were you where you had a legal right to be?

    If you’re engaging in threatening behavior—like squaring up aggressively, posturing, or hurling insults—you may lose your claim to innocence. There’s a legal concept called “Fighting Words”: if you provoke someone and they respond violently, the law may say you’re the aggressor.

    2. Imminence

    Imminence is about timing.

    Was the threat right there, right then? Did they have the means and opportunity to carry out the threat immediately? Or was it more like “I’ll come back later!”

    Example:
    At a lacrosse game, an opposing player slashed a teammate of my brother. The player’s mom got angry and yelled at the coach, eventually threatening:
    “Do you want me to get a baseball bat and beat the crap out of you?!”

    Police were called. The officer asked if she had a bat. She didn’t. She’d have to go get one, come back, and then follow through. Since there was no imminent threat, no charges were filed.

    3. Avoidance

    Did you have a safe way to leave?

    In many places, there’s a duty to retreat before using force, especially deadly force. The exceptions to this rule are legal doctrines like:

    • Castle Doctrine (no duty to retreat in your own home)
    • Stand Your Ground (no duty to retreat in public, under specific conditions)

    Important note: these doctrines only relieve you of the duty to retreat—they don’t override the other four elements.

    In some states, you may even have access to a Stand Your Ground hearing—a pre-trial hearing where a judge decides if the evidence supports your self-defense claim enough to block criminal charges or civil lawsuits.

    4. Proportionality

    Your response must match the level of threat.

    If someone shoves you, that doesn’t give you the right to shoot them. But if someone comes at you with a knife, deadly force may be justified.

    Context matters:

    • A 5’3”, 105 lb woman being attacked by a 6’5”, 300 lb man may reasonably fear for her life even without a weapon being involved.
    • The same goes for multiple attackers—even if none of them are armed.

    This is called disparity of force, and it’s a key part of understanding proportionality.

    5. Reasonableness

    Would a “reasonable person” act the same way in your shoes?

    That’s the million-dollar question, and it’s what jurors are asked to consider. Of course, jurors don’t know everything you did at the time. That’s why the defense must present:

    • Prior history with the attacker
    • Their reputation
    • Any weapons present
    • Training, physical limitations, or awareness on your part
    • Distance and threat potential (e.g., knife at 10 feet)

    The court weighs both subjective knowledge (what you knew) and objective standards (how a reasonable person would respond). Just saying “I was afraid” doesn’t cut it. You need to be able to explain why your fear was reasonable.

    Wrapping Up

    This was a denser post than usual—and with good reason. Self-defense law is full of complexity and myth. What we’ve covered here is from the defense’s perspective—what you need to justify your actions.

    But self-defense claims don’t exist in a vacuum.

    In the next post, we’ll talk about the prosecution—how they think, what they look for, and how they’ll try to dismantle your self-defense claim.

  • The Smart Monkey

    The Smart Monkey

    Prepared, Not Violent – Part VII

    I was listening to a podcast hosted by Colion Noir where he interviewed a defense attorney with experience in self-defense cases involving firearms. Around the 40-minute mark, the attorney mentioned advice he gave to his son: avoid ego-driven conflicts.

    The advice boiled down to this: when dealing with a “typical jerk,” don’t escalate. Instead, offer a sincere apology—even if you feel wronged.

    That idea reminded me of something from Rory Miller’s work—either Facing Violence or Conflict Communication. He talks about the “Smart Monkey,” a concept rooted in the Triune Brain Theory of human evolution.

    According to this model, the brain evolved in three layers:

    • The Lizard – The medulla oblongata, responsible for survival instincts
    • The Monkey – The amygdala, concerned with tribal identity, emotion, and social behavior
    • The Human – The neocortex, home of logic, language, creativity, and reason

    Most interpersonal conflict—especially social aggression—happens at the Monkey level. As we’ve discussed in earlier entries, that’s because The Monkey lives in the world of emotion, ego, and social status.

    When someone violates The Monkey’s rules, it screams for satisfaction. This looks like insults, chest-thumping, and other forms of ego posturing—basically, flinging metaphorical feces. And if both monkeys keep flinging, things tend to escalate… until someone throws a punch.

    The problem is that outside a controlled environment (like a dojo or training gym), violence is illegal, no matter how ritualized it feels in the moment.

    Even worse, if you’re dealing with someone who has real experience with violence—especially criminal violence—they may not follow the same “rules” your monkey expects. They might skip the yelling phase entirely and go straight to weapons or a brutal preemptive strike.

    So… what do we do?

    As we’ve mentioned in earlier posts, the most reliable tool for de-escalation is a sincere apology.

    But here’s the hard part:
    Your monkey does not want to apologize.
    It wants to emotionally punish the other person. It wants to dominate. It wants to win.

    And the pull is powerful.

    Enter: The Smart Monkey

    The Smart Monkey knows how to manage these emotions.

    You’re not “giving in.” You’re soothing your own ego by choosing strategy over impulse.

    You can tell your monkey:

    “Yes, that guy was a jerk. But you’re smarter. You just outmaneuvered him. You got out safe, and he’ll be the one still raging at the air while you’re enjoying your evening.”

    Apologize. De-escalate. Walk away.
    Maybe even buy the jerk a beer.

    Not because he deserves it…
    …but because you deserve to survive.

  • There’s No Magic Bullet in Training

    There’s No Magic Bullet in Training

    Prepared, Not Violent is an ongoing series from Eye Square Martial Arts exploring how martial artists can understand, avoid, and prepare for real-world violence—without becoming consumed by it.

    This is Part VI: There’s No Magic Bullet in Training

    In an ideal world, learning how to protect yourself wouldn’t hurt. But we don’t live in that world.

    Online, you’ll find plenty of flashy videos showing “no-touch knockouts” or pressure-point wizardry that claims to incapacitate someone with a finger flick. It would be nice if that were real. But it’s not.

    Violence is dangerous.
    Violence hurts.
    And I’m not talking about feelings.

    “Anyone who says words cut like a knife has clearly never been stabbed.”
    — Rory Miller

    Martial arts make a powerful promise: that someone smaller or weaker can survive, or even win, against someone bigger and stronger. And it is true—but only if the training is real.

    The real advantages come from:

    • Recognizing attacks early
    • Understanding timing and rhythm
    • Knowing where the human body is vulnerable

    Those advantages don’t come from mystical techniques or secret shortcuts. They come from work. Real, sweaty, sometimes painful work. That might mean getting hit, pushed, or taken to the ground. It means drilling the uncomfortable stuff until your body doesn’t freeze under pressure.

    Even with tools like firearms—often seen as the great equalizer—the reality is more complicated. Drawing and firing under pressure is a skill, not a guarantee. It takes time to develop. And it brings new challenges: what if someone grabs for your weapon? What if you fumble the draw? Are you prepared to retain control in a struggle?

    The truth is: there is no magic bullet. Not in martial arts. Not in self-defense. Not in life.

    Preparation is uncomfortable. But that discomfort is the price you pay for readiness.

  • Being Content With Your Choices and Following Through

    Being Content With Your Choices and Following Through

    This post is a little different from the usual.

    I woke up this morning thinking about what I could do to keep moving this school forward. Almost immediately, a voice in the back of my head chimed in: “Just stay in bed. Take it easy.”

    But I got up anyway and went through my morning routine. On the way to the dog park to let my pups burn off some energy, I was reminded of a thought shared by both Marcus Aurelius and Steven Pressfield: you have to find contentment in the path you’ve chosen.

    So I asked myself: What do I really want?
    Not what brings money—what brings purpose?

    I want to teach martial arts.

    And the thing is… I am teaching martial arts. And I’m happy doing it.

    I have to remind myself that happiness doesn’t come from the bank account—it comes from doing what matters. I’m learning, creating, and sharing that journey with others. That’s meaningful.

    Sure, it’d be nice if I didn’t have to do all the “manual labor” of building this business both online and in person. But if I don’t put in that effort, why should the universe offer anything back?

    Opportunity doesn’t come knocking.
    But if you walk out the door and meet it halfway—it often shows up.

    “If you wait for opportunity to knock, it never will. But if you move to meet opportunity in the street, it’ll meet you halfway.”
    —Unknown

  • The Motivations for Violence

    The Motivations for Violence

    Prepared, Not Violent is an ongoing series from Eye Square Martial Arts exploring how martial artists can understand, avoid, and prepare for real-world violence—without becoming consumed by it.

    This is Part V: The Motivations for Violence

    At first glance, the motivations behind violence can seem random—chaotic events with no logic behind them. But the truth is: violence always has a reason, even if the victim is unrelated to the perpetrator.

    One useful framework for understanding these reasons comes from Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. From this model, we can break violence down into three primary categories:

    1. Survival / Resource-Based Violence
    2. Social Cohesion Violence
    3. Self-Actualized Violence

    🥖 Survival / Resources

    The lowest levels of Maslow’s pyramid include:

    • Physiological needs (breathing, food, water)
    • Safety needs (shelter, predictability, physical security)

    Violence motivated by survival often comes from desperation—especially when addiction is involved. A mugger isn’t typically trying to feed their starving family (despite popular media tropes); they’re often feeding an addiction.

    Important note:
    Withdrawals from substances—especially alcohol—can be lethal. Alcohol is one of the most dangerous and violence-associated substances in the world. People in the grip of addiction can become unpredictable, desperate, and, in a very real sense, possessed.

    This type of violence is often patterned and predictable:

    • The mugger selects known “hunting grounds”
    • They use routine tactics to maximize success
    • Creating a reactionary gap (e.g., throwing a wallet one direction and fleeing another) can help you escape

    🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Social Cohesion

    Maslow’s mid-level needs are:

    • Belonging
    • Esteem

    These are the layers where most Westerners encounter violence. It’s tribal—about status, respect, and group belonging.

    Violence at this level is usually “on script.” People are defending perceived status, correcting rule violations, or asserting dominance.

    Examples:

    • A sincere, non-weasel-worded apology can defuse a tense social encounter.
    • Smaller individuals may provoke larger ones—if they lose, it’s expected; if they win, the social payoff is large.
    • Much of female-on-female aggression at this level manifests as social exclusion or reputation destruction.

    This is the arena of honor culture violence, bar fights, and public confrontations. The motives are understandable—even predictable—when you understand the rules of the group or environment.

    Recommended resources:

    🧠 Self-Actualization

    At the top of Maslow’s hierarchy is self-actualization—doing something simply because you want to, not because you have to.

    Normally, this is seen as a positive goal: becoming a great artist, helping others, or exploring your full potential.

    But the dark side of self-actualization is choosing to do terrible things just because you enjoy them. This is the realm of:

    • Serial killers
    • Sexual predators
    • Power-seekers who inflict pain and suffering because it satisfies something within them

    These individuals aren’t driven by need or status—they’re fulfilled by violence itself. This is rare, but it’s important to recognize it as its own category.

    🎯 Final Thoughts

    Understanding the motivations behind violence won’t make you immune to it—but it will help you recognize patterns, de-escalate where possible, and respond with the right mindset and tools.

    Not all violence is personal. But all violence is purposeful.

  • The Self-Protection Toolbox: Why Self-Defense Isn’t Just Fighting

    The Self-Protection Toolbox: Why Self-Defense Isn’t Just Fighting

    When I first started martial arts, I was a young man with borderline-high blood pressure and very little understanding of what violence actually looked like. The school I joined had a section of its curriculum labeled “Self-Defense Techniques,” and being the naïve student I was, I assumed that because I was learning martial arts, I was learning self-defense.

    Fast forward about ten years, and I came across Meditations on Violence by Rory Miller. That book hit me like a freight train. It forced me to reckon with the fact that I knew next to nothing about real self-defense—let alone the broader and more accurate concept of self-protection (a term that reaches far beyond just physical skills, and yes, self-defense is a legal term, not a tactical one).

    As I’ve explored in previous parts of this series, protecting yourself and others is about much more than knowing how to throw a punch.

    At the highest level, it begins with mindset:

    • Understanding why and where violence happens
    • Knowing what you’re willing to die for—or go to prison for

    Below that, you have conduct—how you move through the world:

    • The way you dress
    • What tools or gear you carry
    • How you carry yourself
    • Your ability to maintain awareness
    • Your willingness to enforce your boundaries

    With the right mindset and conduct, you can avoid the vast majority of violent situations. Most predators look for easy targets. If you don’t make yourself one, they’ll likely move on.

    But avoidance isn’t always possible. When conflict still arises, that’s when specific skillsets come into play:

    • Situational awareness
    • Emotional regulation (especially under stress)
    • Interpersonal skills and de-escalation tactics

    And only when all else fails do we fall back on physical force. Even then, it’s not just about “winning”—you also have to navigate the legal aftermath of a violent encounter.

    One of the cruel ironies of self-protection is this:

    The simpler the tool, the more often it’s needed.
    The more complex the skill, the less likely you’ll use it.

    It takes just a few seconds to think about how you dress and present yourself. But building the physical and emotional skills to handle a violent encounter might take years. And understanding the legal landscape? That could take a lifetime.

    This series exists to help you build a complete toolbox—mental, emotional, physical, and legal—for self-protection. Because being prepared doesn’t mean being violent.

    It means being ready.

    Want to build your own self-protection toolbox? Start with Part I: Flipping the Switch.

  • Mutual Combat vs Sudden Assault: The Fantasy of the Fair Fight

    Mutual Combat vs Sudden Assault: The Fantasy of the Fair Fight

    Prepared, Not Violent is an ongoing series from Eye Square Martial Arts exploring how martial artists can understand, avoid, and prepare for real-world violence—without becoming consumed by it.

    This is Part IV: Mutual Combat vs Sudden Assault

    Mutual Combat vs Sudden Assault

    I was watching a video from Inside Fighting on YouTube about Silat, and the presenter brought up something I’ve heard many times: do arts like Silat actually work?

    More specifically—can the techniques taught within systems such as Silat actually work when it matters?

    I come from an American Kenpo background primarily, so I’m very familiar with the mindsets present both inside arts like these and outside them—and both have merit.

    See: Why Do You Train?

    Unrealistic Understandings and Expectations

    Way back when I started in martial arts, I went to a school where we had a set curriculum of American Kenpo-style “self-defense” techniques (and Shotokan Kata, and Sport Karate sparring). I learned rote responses to various types of attacks—which were always practiced in a controlled and predictable manner (insert eye-roll).

    Thank the gods I never had to use that stuff—I would have gotten my ass kicked (or worse).

    But the thing was, I didn’t know any better. I’m pretty sure my instructor didn’t either. The area I live in is pretty damn safe and peaceful—again, thank the gods.

    Training for rules-based combat might win you medals, but it won’t always save your skin.

    MMA Isn’t Enough

    Thinking about it though, I don’t think the “hardcore” MMA guys have a much better understanding of real violence either.

    Many of these folks are tough, and very skilled. But ultimately—they train for a consensual fight in a controlled environment.

    Would MMA fighters still have an advantage over someone like me when I started? Unequivocally—yes. They’re better conditioned, tougher, and more experienced dealing with pain. Not to mention they’re also more grounded in actual violence.

    The thing is—they still have unrealistic expectations of their own.

    Many martial artists train for a consensual fight. Reality rarely asks your permission.

    The 90% Myth

    There’s that often-cited statistic that “90% of fights end up on the ground,” supposedly from a 1991 LAPD report. But I (and ChatGPT) haven’t been able to find said report.

    If it exists, I suspect the “90%” refers to arrests ending up on the ground—which makes sense when you watch police videos from guys like Donut Operator.

    Also—police body cams have done a lot to confirm a sad truth: sh*t people are sh*t people—and usually, it’s not the cops causing the problems.

    Ted Sumner’s Parking Lot

    Tracy Kenpo Grandmaster Ted Sumner, who served as a police officer in San Jose (and survived being shot by a would-be assassin), once told me about an MMA guy who asked for a lesson.

    At some point, the MMA guy said, “Let’s make this more realistic.”

    Ted said, “Alright, come outside with me.”

    Once in the parking lot, Ted smashed a glass bottle on the pavement. Then, he pissed on it. He looked at the MMA guy and said:

    “Okay. You lay on the ground first.”

    I’m assuming the guy declined.

    A graphic—but poignant—illustration of the dangers in assuming “I’ll just take them to the ground.”

    What About Weapons? What About Friends?

    Violence isn’t a sport. It’s chaos.

    • What if he’s got a knife?
    • What if he’s not alone?
    • What if he doesn’t care if he lives?

    Combat is a chaotic circumstance—you get a vote, the enemy gets a vote, and so does lady luck.
    — Author

    If your training has only prepared you for mutual combat, it’s time to ask the hard questions:

    • Are you ready for chaos?
    • Have you tested your techniques under pressure?
    • Can your art adapt when the rules disappear?

    At Eye Square Martial Arts, we don’t just train for performance—we train for reality.

    Cultural Preservation… with Bruises.

  • Controlling Your Center

    Controlling Your Center

    Prepared, Not Violent is an ongoing series from Eye Square Martial Arts exploring how martial artists can understand, avoid, and prepare for real-world violence—without becoming consumed by it.

    This is Part III: Controlling Your Center

    There are certain subjects that tend to get under my skin. Maybe you’ve got a few of your own. I’ve let myself get riled up before—enough that it’s cost me friendships.

    One example still stings. A former friend’s girlfriend clearly knew how to press my buttons. She poked at a topic she knew would get a rise out of me. I reacted. She cried to him. He ghosted me for a week, and then told me we couldn’t be friends anymore.

    But personal drama aside—there’s a deeper lesson here.

    When you allow someone else to trigger your emotions, you’re essentially handing over control. You’re letting them steer the ship.

    And that’s never good. At least, not for you.

    You Teach People How to Treat You

    Every time you react in a certain way, you reinforce the rulebook others use when dealing with you.

    If you explode when challenged, people learn to provoke you when they want to win.
    If you withdraw when criticized, people learn to guilt you into silence.
    If you overextend when praised, people learn to flatter you into compliance.

    Most people aren’t evil. But most people are human—and they’ll push for what they want, even when it’s not in your best interest.

    “If You’re Feeling, You’re Not Thinking”

    Here’s a hard truth: when your emotions take over, your reasoning shuts down. The limbic system—your “monkey brain”—hijacks your frontal cortex. That’s the part responsible for logic and decision-making.

    Worse, it doesn’t just override logic—it recruits it. Once your emotions are in the driver’s seat, your brain gets to work justifying your feelings rather than evaluating the situation objectively.

    Identity Is the Emotional Trap

    This is why topics like politics, religion, and even martial arts can cause otherwise calm people to lose their minds. These things get tied to your identity. And once something becomes part of who you are, any challenge to it feels personal.

    Disagree with my stance? You’re attacking me.
    Criticize my art? You’re disrespecting my identity.

    It doesn’t even have to be serious. Some people will go to war over what car you drive, what coffee you drink, or whether you put pineapple on pizza.

    And here’s the kicker: when researchers put people into MRI machines and asked them political or religious questions, the logical parts of the brain didn’t light up. The emotional centers did.

    We think we’re being rational, but we’re not.

    Keep Your Center

    In martial arts, the “center” is your balance point. Lose it, and you’re vulnerable. The same is true emotionally.

    If you want to be prepared—not just for violence, but for life—you have to own your center. That means not letting others manipulate your emotional state. It means noticing when your buttons are being pushed, and choosing not to react blindly.

    It’s hard. But it’s worth it.

    Control yourself—so no one else can.

  • Where Violence Happens

    Where Violence Happens

    Prepared, Not Violent is an ongoing series from Eye Square Martial Arts exploring how martial artists can understand, avoid, and prepare for real-world violence—without becoming consumed by it.

    This is Part II: Where Violence Happens

    I used to think violence just… happened. Random. Unpredictable. But as I’ve grown in my understanding of human behavior—and thanks to some great sources like Rory Miller—I’ve realized there’s often a pattern.

    Some of what Miller lays out is so head-slappingly obvious in hindsight, I’ve literally muttered to myself, “Well duh, Brandon.”

    “Best defense: not be there.”
    — Mr. Miyagi

    Here’s a concept worth drilling into:
    There are five common environments where violence tends to occur. Understanding these can help you avoid trouble before it starts.

    1. Places Where Minds Are Altered

    Alcohol, drugs, and adrenaline all change how people behave—and not for the better. Bars, clubs, house parties… all ripe for interpersonal conflict. A high percentage of violent incidents involve intoxication. Impaired judgment makes stupid decisions easier.

    2. Places Where Young Men Gather

    Statistically, most violent crime is committed by men under 24. Testosterone, ego, peer pressure—it’s a cocktail that doesn’t need much to go sideways. A big group of young guys with something to prove is a red flag.

    3. Territories in Dispute

    This can be literal—gang boundaries, disputed land—or symbolic, like sports rivalries. “My team’s better than yours!” often escalates into “Hold my beer.” The tribal instinct runs deep, and perceived threats to identity or territory can trigger violence fast.

    4. Places Where You Don’t Know the Rules

    Every subculture has unspoken rules. Walk into a biker bar acting like a frat king? Bad move. The social dynamics might be invisible to you, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist—or that you won’t pay the price for breaking them.

    5. Places Without Witnesses

    Nature might be beautiful, but it’s also brutal. A lot of assaults happen on isolated trails, in remote parks, or just off busy streets—alleys, parking structures, stairwells. Predators prefer places where no one’s watching. So should you—just in the opposite way.

    You can stack these danger zones, too.

    Take a college football game where a rival team is in town. You’ve got:

    • A huge crowd of young men,
    • Drinking like fish (minds altered),
    • Defending their team’s honor (territory),
    • Visiting unfamiliar bars (rule confusion),
    • And dark parking lots nearby (no witnesses).

    Congratulations. That’s a violence cocktail with a twist of regret.

    When you’re trying to keep yourself and your people safe, where you are matters just as much as who you are.

    Yeah, it sounds obvious. But Western society likes to sell us the idea that we should feel safe anywhere, all the time.

    And sure, that’s a nice thought. But reality?

    Reality is waiting to high-five your face… with a 2×4.

  • Flipping the Switch: The Importance of Being Capable of Violence

    Flipping the Switch: The Importance of Being Capable of Violence

    Prepared, Not Violent is an ongoing series from Eye Square Martial Arts exploring how martial artists can understand, avoid, and prepare for real-world violence—without becoming consumed by it.

    This is Part I: Flipping the Switch: The Importance of Being Capable of Violence

    The more experience I gain in martial arts—and in life—the more I’ve had to come to terms with something uncomfortable: I may one day have to be violent.

    Not because I want to be. Not because I enjoy the idea. But because I might need to protect my wife. My family. A stranger. Myself.

    The other day, a friend of mine dropped this video into our Discord channel:

    It’s a clip of Nick Freitas speaking about a convicted child predator who described how he chooses his victims—by looking for situations where the father isn’t present. That’s the kind of insight you want to hear, especially as a father. It’s disturbing, yes—but valuable information often is.

    Someone else in the thread responded, accusing Freitas of “promoting violence.” I pushed back. Freitas isn’t telling people to go out and start fights—he’s saying that you should be ready to do what’s necessary to defend the people you care about.

    I didn’t say it perfectly at the time, but I wasn’t hostile either. The guy shot back with, “Most people in America will never have to deal with violence.” And honestly? He’s probably right. Statistically speaking, most people won’t find themselves in life-or-death situations.

    But the thing is—some will. And when that day comes, it’s too late to start preparing.

    One key factor in avoiding violence is not looking like a victim. You don’t always need to use force to deter an attack. But you do often need to look like you’re willing to.

    Marc MacYoung tells a great story in In the Name of Self-Defense. A woman is walking through a grocery store parking lot. She notices two guys watching her. They split up and start approaching from different angles—classic encirclement. She reaches her car, puts the grocery cart between her and them, and stares them down—without saying a word.

    Then, she looks past them.

    What they didn’t know is that she had a concealed firearm—and was trained to use it. When she looked behind them, she wasn’t looking for help. She was checking for backstops—things that would stop bullets if she had to shoot through them.

    That look told them everything they needed to know.

    They left.

    This is what so many people miss when they talk about “violence.” It’s not about wanting to hurt anyone. It’s about projecting the reality that you can, and will, if you’re forced to.

    The people who most often criticize this mindset usually fall into one of three camps:

    • They’ve never been a victim.
    • They’ve never studied how real violence works.
    • They just like to virtue signal from a safe distance.

    But none of those positions help you when things go bad. Preparedness does. Training does. Strength does.

    A predator is always looking for a target that’s easy, soft, distracted. If you project confidence, capability, and clear boundaries, most predators will look elsewhere.

    So yes:

    Si vis pacem, para bellum.
    If you want peace, prepare for war.

    Because peace isn’t always granted. Sometimes, you have to earn it.