Some lessons only sink in when they hurt a little.
After a solid Sunday class, I was chatting with Nate while folks were comparing bruises and swelling. It brought back a memory of when I accidentally smacked my first instructor’s thumb during a stick drill. He didn’t take it well and kind of tapped out of training that day. Contrast that with my first live stick sparring round with Nate—he hit me harder, and I knew it was coming.
And that’s the point.
I’m not putting down my first instructor—he gave me exactly what I needed at that stage of my life. But over time, I’ve come to appreciate how critical it is to accept pain and discomfort as part of real growth. Whether it’s taking a hit during a sparring match or getting under a barbell and pushing yourself past what you thought possible, discomfort teaches you something that comfort never will.
Every time I get the chance to train with Nate, I walk away having learned something new—even if it’s just a realization of how far I’ve come since I started Filipino Martial Arts.
A lot of that learning comes after pain.
It’s not always severe or brutal. Sometimes it’s just enough to sting, to leave a mark. But that sting creates awareness. That ache sharpens focus. That bruise becomes a milestone.
I remember an article by Lee Wedlake, a respected American Kenpo master, who reflected on how discomfort in training has become frowned upon. And to some degree, I get it—training needs to be accessible. But there’s a deeper question there: Who makes up your market? Are you building warriors, or simply selling memberships?
The tendon in my left index finger has been swollen for months. It doesn’t look great—but I’m proud of it. It’s a badge of effort. A reminder of the work I’ve put in. Sometimes I show it off when students compare injuries. Not because I enjoy the damage, but because I know what it took to earn it—and what I’m still willing to endure.
I’m lucky to have found training partners, teachers, and a path where pain isn’t the enemy—it’s just part of the conversation.
And I hope others are lucky enough to discover the same.
Prepared, Not Violent is an ongoing series from Eye Square Martial Arts exploring how martial artists can understand, avoid, and prepare for real-world violence—without becoming consumed by it.
This is Part I: Flipping the Switch: The Importance of Being Capable of Violence
The more experience I gain in martial arts—and in life—the more I’ve had to come to terms with something uncomfortable: I may one day have to be violent.
Not because I want to be. Not because I enjoy the idea. But because I might need to protect my wife. My family. A stranger. Myself.
The other day, a friend of mine dropped this video into our Discord channel:
It’s a clip of Nick Freitas speaking about a convicted child predator who described how he chooses his victims—by looking for situations where the father isn’t present. That’s the kind of insight you want to hear, especially as a father. It’s disturbing, yes—but valuable information often is.
Someone else in the thread responded, accusing Freitas of “promoting violence.” I pushed back. Freitas isn’t telling people to go out and start fights—he’s saying that you should be ready to do what’s necessary to defend the people you care about.
I didn’t say it perfectly at the time, but I wasn’t hostile either. The guy shot back with, “Most people in America will never have to deal with violence.” And honestly? He’s probably right. Statistically speaking, most people won’t find themselves in life-or-death situations.
But the thing is—some will. And when that day comes, it’s too late to start preparing.
One key factor in avoiding violence is not looking like a victim. You don’t always need to use force to deter an attack. But you do often need to look like you’re willing to.
Marc MacYoung tells a great story in In the Name of Self-Defense. A woman is walking through a grocery store parking lot. She notices two guys watching her. They split up and start approaching from different angles—classic encirclement. She reaches her car, puts the grocery cart between her and them, and stares them down—without saying a word.
Then, she looks past them.
What they didn’t know is that she had a concealed firearm—and was trained to use it. When she looked behind them, she wasn’t looking for help. She was checking for backstops—things that would stop bullets if she had to shoot through them.
That look told them everything they needed to know.
They left.
This is what so many people miss when they talk about “violence.” It’s not about wanting to hurt anyone. It’s about projecting the reality that you can, and will, if you’re forced to.
The people who most often criticize this mindset usually fall into one of three camps:
They’ve never been a victim.
They’ve never studied how real violence works.
They just like to virtue signal from a safe distance.
But none of those positions help you when things go bad. Preparedness does. Training does. Strength does.
A predator is always looking for a target that’s easy, soft, distracted. If you project confidence, capability, and clear boundaries, most predators will look elsewhere.
I looked at the situation I’m in currently and realized something: I’ve been fortunate enough to have some of the best martial artists in the world pull me aside and say:
“Hey, let me show you something.”
And I’ve often wondered—why me? I’m nothing special.
Then it hit me: It’s because I try. I show up. I engage.
👊 Why Teachers Really Invest
My Kenpo grandmaster drives an hour and a half—just to train us. He only asks for gas money.
Why?
Because, as he’s told me, my fellow students and I are eager to learn. We give him our attention and our respect. We take the art seriously, and that matters.
I make it a point to try. I practice what I’m shown. I ask questions. I help others. And that effort resonates with teachers who care.
💰 Beyond Paying for an Experience
So why don’t more people get this kind of treatment?
A big part of it: You have to put in work before someone high-level can show you something advanced. (For more context, see: There Are No Secrets)
Another piece: You have to go beyond the idea that paying tuition entitles you to instruction.
A true relationship between teacher and student can’t be bought—it’s built.
I’m not saying teachers shouldn’t be paid—far from it. Great instructors often put in more work and study than it takes to become a doctor. If they can help you grow, they deserve compensation.
But the best teachers? They want to teach. They light up when a student is engaged and clearly chasing more than a belt.
Unfortunately, most students are just paying for an experience. They want to say they train—without ever earning the knowledge.
🔄 A Relationship of Give and Take
There’s a complementary dynamic between teacher and student:
Without students, teachers have no one to teach.
Without teachers, students can’t learn—not really.
Both roles demand respect. Both require effort, patience, and communication.
🎯 What Makes a Good Student?
A good student…
Meets their obligations—time and tuition
Communicates with their teacher
Practices outside of class
Asks questions
Engages with the material, and shares it with others
Because even the best teacher in the world… Can’t make a student good. Only the student can do that.
🧠 Final Thought
Show up. Try. Care. That’s what teachers are looking for.
And when they find it—they give you everything they’ve got.
Whether you’re a beginner in Filipino Martial Arts or a seasoned practitioner, the right stick makes a huge difference in your training. At Eye Square Martial Arts, we go through a lot of sticks — so we’ve learned what holds up, what doesn’t, and how to keep your gear in fighting shape.
Here’s a practical guide to selecting, maintaining, and respecting your rattan sticks.
🛒 Choosing the Right Rattan Stick
✅ 1. Length
Standard length: 28–30 inches
Shorter sticks (21–26”) are useful for close-quarters or dual stick work
Make sure the length fits your arm span and training style
✅ 2. Diameter
Common thickness: 7/8″ to 1″
Thicker sticks = more impact durability and weight
Thinner sticks = faster, lighter, better for flow drills
💡 Pro tip: Beginners often prefer something closer to 1″ for durability.
✅ 3. Burn Patterns
Some rattan sticks are fire-hardened or scorched for looks and rigidity
Burned ends help visually distinguish training weapons — and look cool
Decorative spirals or stripes are optional — but make sure they’re functional, not just fancy
✅ 4. Core Quality
Straight grain rattan is stronger and more durable
Avoid sticks with cracks, mushy ends, or hollow-sounding cores
Flex test: slight bend is good, but it shouldn’t feel soft or spongy
🧰 How to Maintain Your Sticks
🧼 1. Cleaning
Wipe with a damp cloth after training, especially if used outdoors
Let air dry — avoid leaving them in direct sun or soaking wet bags
🛠️ 2. Reinforce (Optional)
You can wrap the handle or strike zones with athletic tape or waxed cord
Helps prevent fraying and increases grip
Don’t over-wrap or it’ll affect your feedback
🚫 3. Avoid This
Don’t leave them in your car — heat can warp them
Don’t soak them in oil — rattan isn’t hardwood, and oil won’t preserve it
Don’t strike metal — it’s not a fencing sword
🧠 Mindset: Treat the Stick Like a Blade
Even though rattan sticks are training tools, they represent edged weapons in movement and mindset. That means:
Don’t twirl recklessly
Don’t drag them on the ground
Don’t leave them lying around like a baseball bat
At Eye Square Martial Arts, we train with purpose — and that includes respecting our tools.
🛍️ Where to Buy Rattan Sticks
Look for trusted FMA gear suppliers
Ask instructors or senior students for recommendations
If you’re local, we keep a few spares at the gym — come try them out
🥋 Wrap-Up
The best rattan stick is the one that feels right in your hand, holds up under pressure, and reminds you every day that you’re part of a living tradition.
🗯 Ready to Train?
Come try a class with us and put your new stick to use.
It still amazes me that in some corners of the martial arts world, people are still saying that lifting weights will make you bulky—and therefore slow.
Even more bizarre? These same folks will also claim:
“Weight training takes too long to work.”
But also, “Just looking at a barbell will make you blow up like Arnold.”
Let’s be clear: that’s nonsense. Unless you’re eating and training like a competitive bodybuilder, you’re not going to “accidentally” get huge.
And even if you could? Being stronger makes you better at martial arts. Period.
You Don’t Need to Train for Hours
If you’re spending more than 60 minutes, three times a week on resistance training, it’s probably more than you need. Efficient programming and consistency beat volume every time—especially if you’re cross-training with martial arts.
Injury Prevention Starts With Strength
I used to think that flexibility alone would protect me from injury.
So, I stretched all the time.
But I also avoided strength training because I believed it would make me stiff and slow.
And yet… I kept getting injured. Weird injuries. Like the time I threw my back out catching a 4-pound medicine ball. Why? Because I had no muscular support for my range of motion.
Flexibility without strength is a liability.
– Author
Real, functional mobility comes from strong, supported joints. Resistance training teaches your muscles how to engage, not just stretch. That improves:
Energy efficiency
Coordination
Joint stability
Injury resistance
Stronger = More Useful
Let’s keep it simple: strong people are more useful—to themselves, their families, their training partners.
If you’re stronger, you’re probably:
Healthier
More mobile
More durable
Less stressed
And when it comes to martial arts? Strength amplifies everything:
You hit harder
You move faster
You absorb impact better
“Strong people are just more useful—to themselves and to others.”
– Author
Where’s the downside?
How Strength Is Built (and Why Reps Aren’t Enough)
All strength gains follow the same basic formula:
Stress → Recovery → Adaptation
If you’re detrained, anything makes you stronger—even walking or doing bodyweight exercises. That’s why beginners make fast progress.
But once your body adapts to those inputs, progress stalls. You’ll hear people say:
“You just need to do more reps.”
That works—for a while. But if you want to go further, you need to be specific. You need real resistance.
The Big Four: The Foundation of Strength
“If you want to get better at martial arts, you need more than just reps. You need resistance.”
– Author
Once you’ve moved past basic calisthenics, it’s time to add compound lifts. Start with:
Low-Bar Back Squat
Deadlift
Bench Press
Overhead Press
These lifts train your body as a system. They engage multiple muscle groups, force full-body coordination, and build resilience like nothing else.
The Art of Manliness – YouTube playlist covering the Big 4 lifts and a couple extra.
A Simple Plan:
Learn correct form (get a coach or reputable guide)
Warm up properly
Lift progressively heavier weights over time
Rest at least 48 hours between lifting sessions
Yes, you’ll be sore at first. Stick with it—your body adapts quickly.
Training for Your Art
Once you’ve got a base of strength, shift your focus to specificity.
That means:
Keep lifting 2–3x per week
Add mobility work on off days
Drill footwork under light resistance
Use isometrics to strengthen martial movement patterns
Strong muscles only help if they support strong technique. Build both.
Voluntary Hardship is a Superpower
Strength training is uncomfortable. So is martial arts. So is growth.
But leaning into discomfort builds mental calluses. It trains you to:
Push past resistance
Delay gratification
Stay calm under pressure
That’s not just good for fighting. That’s good for life.
This is the same discomfort that helped humans build civilizations. It’s a superpower most people never develop.
Don’t run from discomfort—train it.
“Voluntary hardship is a superpower—and strength training is how you train it.”
– Author
Final Thoughts
Lifting weights won’t make you bulky. It won’t make you slow. It won’t hurt your martial arts—it will enhance them.
With strength comes:
Resilience
Speed
Power
Confidence
That’s not a distraction from martial training. That’s the foundation of it.
“You need experience to know the right questions to ask—but the humility of a beginner to actually ask them.” — Eye Square Martial Arts
Start Where You Are, Not Where You Think You Are
I’ve been around martial arts for a while now, and I’ve realized something: I may not have any natural talent—but I do have one advantage.
I can set aside what I think I know and approach training with the mindset of a beginner.
That mindset? It’s everything.
🍵 The Lesson of the Full Cup
Senior Grand Master Ed Parker Sr. once shared a story:
A potential student came to visit a master. As the master began to demonstrate some basic movements, the student kept interrupting:
“Oh, you mean like this?”
Each time, he’d perform his own version of the movement.
Finally, the master stopped and said:
“I’d like you to practice these two things.”
He showed the student two deceptively simple techniques and told him to return in a couple of months.
The student did as instructed. When he came back, the master asked him to demonstrate.
The student replied:
“I practiced those two movements so much… I forgot everything else I knew.”
The master nodded.
“Good,” he said. “Now you’re ready to begin.”
🧠 The Beginner’s Mind
If you’ve trained even a little while—maybe just enough to earn a green belt—you’ve probably started building a mental collection of techniques you think you understand.
Then you visit another school.
It’s different. The movements feel off. Maybe even wrong. And yet… something about it sticks.
“You can imitate technique—but you can’t fake understanding.”
There are always skills that transfer across styles, but martial arts isn’t just mechanics. It’s mindset. It’s movement with meaning.
🔄 Try Emptying Your Cup
Walk into a new style as if you know nothing. Leave your “technique backpack” at the door and just… learn.
Ask yourself:
🟢 What’s different?
🟢 What feels familiar?
🟢 What’s the intention behind these movements?
🟢 What strategy is this art trying to express?
There’s an odd paradox in martial arts:
You need experience to know what matters— But you need the humility of a beginner to see it clearly.
💡 Final Thought: Return to Zero
The more you grow, the more important it is to let go.
True mastery doesn’t mean knowing everything. It means returning—over and over again—to the beginning.
Empty your cup. Then refill it. Then empty it again.
“Cultural Preservation… with Bruises.” — Eye Square Martial Arts
When I started martial arts 20 years ago, I was a lanky, uncoordinated mess—about 6’2″ and 165 pounds soaking wet. I hadn’t played sports beyond the bare minimum in PE, and to top it off, I had borderline-high blood pressure.
In short: I had nothing going for me.
So when someone tells me,
“I’d love to train, but I’m out of shape,” it hits a nerve.
Right. Because I started off in peak condition?
💥 You Will Be Uncomfortable
About ten years in, I realized I was drifting into “married blob” territory. My grandma even said,
“Looks like marriage is being good to you,” which is family code for “you’re getting fat.”
So I joined a gym. I started lifting.
My then-wife wanted to join me, so we trained together. At least for a while.
But certain exercises—deadlifts, squats, dips—she found uncomfortable. And when she didn’t see results, she was surprised.
Go figure.
🧱 Discomfort Is the Cost of Growth
Martial arts are no different. You will be uncomfortable. You’ll struggle. You’ll fail. You’ll want to quit.
But here’s the thing: If you want something of value, you have to give something up. Time. Energy. Sweat. Ego.
Discomfort is the toll you pay for transformation.
Whether it’s the weight room or the dojo, it’s not about starting strong— It’s about showing up anyway.
There are martial arts from all corners of the globe—many with lineages that stretch back centuries or more. These arts didn’t stick around by accident.
They’ve endured because they work. They work in the context of conflict, and more importantly, they work for the human body.
🧍♂️ A Common Platform
People often claim, “That move looks just like the one from Art X—it must have come from there.” Never mind that these arts may have developed continents apart.
More likely? Similar movements evolve from the same foundation: the human body.
Two arms, two legs, a head, a torso. That’s the platform.
And with it comes some hard truths:
Cut off blood to the brain? You lose consciousness.
Restrict air? The body fails.
Push a joint past its range? It breaks.
It’s not about style—it’s about structure.
⚙️ Good Body Mechanics
A good martial art teaches you to move efficiently:
Without hurting yourself
While making it easier to hurt your opponent (if necessary)
It respects the mechanics of your own body, and shows you how to exploit the weaknesses in someone else’s.
It should also scale with you—whether you’re 18 or 80. If it breaks down when your joints do, that’s a problem.
🧩 The Big Picture
A good martial art should:
✅ Support your personal training goals
✅ Minimize risk to yourself while maximizing effectiveness
✅ Adapt with you over time
Outside of those factors, the question stops being “Which martial art is good?” And becomes “How well can I use what I’m learning?”
Even the most “effective” art in the world is useless if you can’t apply it.
At the end of the day, it’s not just about the art—it’s about the artist.
So maybe the better question isn’t “Which martial art is best?” But rather: “Which one is best for you—and are you willing to do the work?”
That was a question my Wing Chun instructor used to ask me all the time. For a long time, I didn’t have a good answer—other than I just wanted to. And honestly, that was enough to start.
I’ve always thought martial arts were cool, and over time, I’ve come to realize that’s as valid a reason as any. But along the way, I’ve also learned something important:
Knowing why you train helps you train smarter.
Having realistic goals keeps you focused—and it helps you recognize what you can and can’t judge yet in your journey.
🧭 Six Functional Reasons to Study Martial Arts
There are lots of reasons someone might train, but most fall into a few core categories:
⚔️ War
“The arts of Mars.” Martial arts were originally created for warfare.
🏅 Sport
Combat skills adapted into structured competition.
👮 Policing
Controlling and apprehending others as part of the justice system.
🛡️ Self-Protection
Using force to defend yourself from harm.
👥 Bodyguarding
Using force to protect others from harm.
🌱 Self-Development
Discipline. Health. Confidence. Coordination. The “everything else” bucket.
Understanding why you train shapes how you train. A cop, a soldier, and a sport fighter all need different tools—even if they share some techniques.
🎯 Align Your Goals with Your Training
When I started, I just needed something physical to get in shape. These days, I’m more interested in understanding and cataloging systems.
Over time, your reasons might change—and that’s okay.
But what doesn’t change is this:
Your training should match your goals.
⚠️ Sport vs. Self-Protection: A Reality Check
There’s a real tendency for some instructors to try to be all things to all people—especially when there’s money involved. But the differences between sport and self-protection are more than just surface-level.
Sport has rules, time limits, safety gear, and referees. The goal is to win without causing serious harm.
Self-protection doesn’t come with rules. If you have to fight back in real life, chances are:
You’re surprised
You’re outnumbered
You’re protecting someone else
You’re starting from a disadvantage
In those moments, you’re not looking to “win points.” You’re looking to survive.
🧩 Can You Have Multiple Goals?
Absolutely. You can train for self-confidence, get in shape, and maybe even compete.
But not all goals mix well.
Want to be a battlefield operator and an Olympic athlete? You’re going to face some trade-offs.
The important thing is that your goals are generally compatible. And that you’re honest about what you’re training for.
❤️ The Heart of the Matter
At the end of the day, only one thing really matters:
Know why you train.
Keep that reason close. Let it guide your training choices. And make sure the instruction you’re getting lines up with your goals.
No reason is better than another. But delusion is the enemy—whether it’s yours or your instructor’s.
🧠 One Last Thought
So I’ll ask you the same question my instructor asked me:
